1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,603 -[instrumental music] -[birds squawking] 2 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,748 Oww! 3 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,016 -[giggling] -What? 4 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,654 [Martin] Are you insane? 5 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,256 -[giggling] -Stop. Stop it. 6 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,694 [giggling] 7 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,302 [door slams] 8 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,171 Elaine? I've been attacked. 9 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:42,042 That gang of lunatics were shooting blueberries at me. 10 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,579 Elaine Denton reporting live from Port Wenn, 11 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:50,050 inside the offices of Doc Martin Victim. 12 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,286 Whatever that is, we don't have time for it. Okay? 13 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,787 We have a packed schedule, and I need you 14 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:54,821 to secure the perimeter. 15 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,790 Unaware that his first patient 16 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,293 was already in the exam room, 17 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:03,163 Doc Martin was apparently also unaware of the fact 18 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:07,301 that this weekend is the Annual Blueberry Festival. 19 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:11,905 A tragic turn of events for a tragic man 20 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,007 named Doc Martin, 21 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,610 who was a doctor. 22 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,017 [woman 1] I just love the Blueberry Festival. 23 00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:25,418 The street fair, the tarts, the pies. 24 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,520 Stop talking and open your mouth. 25 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,057 I'm gonna be getting in the vat 26 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,193 and stomping blueberries to make wine. 27 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,027 Not with this foot fungus, you're not. 28 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,163 I'm deathly allergic to blueberries, 29 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,598 but I wanna eat, like, a lot of pie. 30 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,699 So can you give me a pill that makes it okay? 31 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:41,534 -Yes, of course. -Really? 32 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:45,305 No. That way. 33 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,173 All right, Elaine, we only have five minutes for lunch, 34 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,909 so why don't you go out and get... 35 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,444 Where is everyone? 36 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,479 Faced with an empty waiting room, 37 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:57,184 Doc Martin finally had room to feel empty. 38 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,619 Will you stop with that voice? 39 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,453 I have to get this reporter thing right. 40 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,355 I'm covering the Blueberry Festival on my live stream. 41 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,191 I want it to look professional. 42 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,793 And dressing up as Newscaster Smurf 43 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,461 screams professional. 44 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,930 We have eight patients this afternoon 45 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,331 and my aunt's supposed to be next. 46 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:14,468 -Where is she? -Yeah, everybody cancelled. 47 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,903 No one is going to the doctor on a Friday afternoon 48 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,606 during the Blueberry Festival. 49 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,640 Actually, shouldn't you be getting ready too? 50 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,675 Ready for what? 51 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,043 You're gonna be a judge in 52 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,444 the big blueberry pie contest tomorrow? 53 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,446 -[Martin] Oh, no, I'm not. -Okay, but you are. 54 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:27,881 'Cause Dr. Reese was always a judge. 55 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,416 Yeah, but I'm not Dr. Reese. 56 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:33,186 I am here with a local old, old man 57 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,722 who is disoriented and confused. 58 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:39,026 He thinks that he can ignore one of our most beloved traditions. 59 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,828 Beloved traditions? Please. 60 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,463 You people would throw a parade at a new stoplight. 61 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,199 -[giggles] -I'm not a pie judge. 62 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,633 -I'm a physician. -Where are you going? 63 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,569 I'm going to see my next scheduled patient. 64 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,571 More on this developing story as it develops, 65 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:55,175 reporting alive from over here by my desk. 66 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,612 I am Elaine Denton for Eyewitness Blues. 67 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,649 -That was it. That was it. -[door closes] 68 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,283 [indistinct chatter] 69 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,687 Okay. All the festival booths. Yep. 70 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:10,924 They're going right there. And... Oh, my eyes. 71 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,393 [chuckles] All right, now, doc. 72 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,661 All right now. 73 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,264 [sighs] 74 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,934 Hey, good morning. 75 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,436 Got something for you. 76 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,472 See at the pie contest, Judge Martin. 77 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,740 [laughs] 78 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,915 Okay, okay, and the dunk tank, 79 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,316 it's going right over there. 80 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,819 Uh, hey, sorry. Give me a second. 81 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,055 -Damn! Ah! -[dog whines] 82 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,790 Uh, this... 83 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,760 Oh! 84 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,531 Oh, will you stop following me? 85 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,833 Just go away. 86 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,536 Put that down, it's not mine. Shoo! 87 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,370 [dog barks] 88 00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,876 [instrumental music] 89 00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,645 Well, good morning to you. 90 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,213 Uh, good morning. 91 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:10,051 Perfect weather for the festival, wouldn't you say, hm? 92 00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,353 You seem to be taking it very seriously. 93 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,187 My favorite time of year. 94 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,924 But doesn't all that bother your skin or your eyelids? 95 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:17,958 All that face paint. 96 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,359 -Face paint. -Hm. 97 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,661 What face paint? 98 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,131 [chuckles] 99 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,604 [whistling] 100 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,342 [theme music] 101 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:58,899 [knocking] 102 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,667 [instrumental music] 103 00:05:02,688 --> 00:05:05,892 Well, Martin, what a nice surprise. 104 00:05:05,892 --> 00:05:07,994 And you're just in time for lunch. Mwah! 105 00:05:07,994 --> 00:05:09,562 Not here for lunch. 106 00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,931 Oh, you're just dropping by? Well, good. [chuckles] 107 00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:14,700 I've just been thinking that we should spend more time together. 108 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,535 And look, now, here you are. 109 00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:18,237 I've come here to give you your physical. 110 00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:19,672 What? 111 00:05:19,672 --> 00:05:21,306 [Martin] Your file says, you haven't had a checkup 112 00:05:21,306 --> 00:05:22,642 in three years. 113 00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:23,809 Why don't you hop up on the counter 114 00:05:23,809 --> 00:05:25,111 and we'll take a look at you? 115 00:05:25,111 --> 00:05:26,545 Oh, you gotta be joking. 116 00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:28,181 There's nothing funny about a 73-year-old woman 117 00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:30,583 avoiding her annual urinalysis. Now, up you go. 118 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:32,685 If you think I'm going to let you examine me 119 00:05:32,685 --> 00:05:34,320 in my own kitchen, 120 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,988 then I'm gonna have to fillet you 121 00:05:35,988 --> 00:05:37,489 with my boning knife. 122 00:05:37,489 --> 00:05:39,058 Aunt Sarah, I need you to take this seriously. 123 00:05:39,058 --> 00:05:42,261 You may be my doctor, but you're also my nephew, 124 00:05:42,261 --> 00:05:44,697 and right now, we're having lunch. 125 00:05:44,697 --> 00:05:46,265 So wash your hands. 126 00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:48,600 Honestly. 127 00:05:50,570 --> 00:05:52,638 You know, they've asked me to be a judge 128 00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:55,908 at the pie contest... with you. 129 00:05:55,908 --> 00:05:58,510 And I said yes, I thought that that would be fun. 130 00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,079 [water running] 131 00:06:00,079 --> 00:06:03,583 [chuckles] I hear that Elizabeth Evans 132 00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:07,019 is making some kind of blueberry meringue 133 00:06:07,019 --> 00:06:08,955 or something like that. 134 00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:11,057 Are you really taking all these medications? 135 00:06:11,057 --> 00:06:13,158 Well, two of them are for my high blood pressure, 136 00:06:13,158 --> 00:06:14,527 and the rest are, I don't know-- 137 00:06:14,527 --> 00:06:15,828 [Martin] Osteoporosis, 138 00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:18,431 acid reflux, high cholesterol. 139 00:06:18,431 --> 00:06:21,433 Good God, woman, you're a ticking timebomb. 140 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,302 A-and this fried fish for lunch 141 00:06:23,302 --> 00:06:25,772 isn't helping the situation either. 142 00:06:25,772 --> 00:06:27,039 Have you thought about getting some exercise? 143 00:06:27,039 --> 00:06:28,674 Maybe some leafy greens in your diet? 144 00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:30,809 Dr. Reese told me to avoid the leafy greens 145 00:06:30,809 --> 00:06:32,644 because they might interact badly 146 00:06:32,644 --> 00:06:35,848 with my blood thinner and I might pass out or something. 147 00:06:35,848 --> 00:06:37,683 And kale tastes like crap. 148 00:06:37,683 --> 00:06:38,951 There's a new medication on the market 149 00:06:38,951 --> 00:06:40,419 that won't have those complications. 150 00:06:40,419 --> 00:06:42,188 I'll write you a prescription. 151 00:06:42,188 --> 00:06:44,056 In the meantime, we're gonna have a chat about 152 00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:46,659 skipping medical appointments at your advanced age. 153 00:06:46,659 --> 00:06:48,094 If you're gonna continue to play doctor, 154 00:06:48,094 --> 00:06:50,362 I don't wanna eat lunch with you, so get out. 155 00:06:50,362 --> 00:06:53,232 Just go. See you at the pie contest. 156 00:06:53,232 --> 00:06:54,634 I'm not judging the pie contest. 157 00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:56,635 Fine, then, I won't see you at all. 158 00:06:58,171 --> 00:06:59,738 [munching] 159 00:07:01,574 --> 00:07:03,609 Fried fish is delicious. 160 00:07:04,377 --> 00:07:07,513 [instrumental music] 161 00:07:17,122 --> 00:07:19,158 [bell tolling] 162 00:07:19,158 --> 00:07:20,926 [Ernie] Oh, Judge Martin, 163 00:07:20,926 --> 00:07:23,997 what do you prefer, flaky pie crust or puffy? 164 00:07:23,997 --> 00:07:25,264 You lost me a judge. 165 00:07:25,264 --> 00:07:26,766 [Annie] Judge Martin, 166 00:07:26,766 --> 00:07:29,035 do you enjoy a latticework topping? 167 00:07:29,035 --> 00:07:31,537 I don't trust myself to do a leaf pattern-- 168 00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,139 I'm not judging the pie contest. 169 00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:35,241 -Oh! -Martin. Hello. 170 00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:36,442 Where are you headed? 171 00:07:36,442 --> 00:07:37,709 Well, I'm on my way for some lunch, 172 00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,312 but it seems like blueberry mania 173 00:07:39,312 --> 00:07:40,546 has swallowed this town whole. 174 00:07:40,546 --> 00:07:41,947 Right. Well, that time of year. 175 00:07:41,947 --> 00:07:43,816 Which reminds me, I've been wondering 176 00:07:43,816 --> 00:07:45,951 um, if you happen to like cinnamon. 177 00:07:45,951 --> 00:07:48,254 I'm scared to ask. But why are we talking about spices? 178 00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:50,290 Or maybe vanilla or caramel. 179 00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:51,658 Little ribbons of caramel 180 00:07:51,658 --> 00:07:53,125 wrapping gently around your tastebuds. 181 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:54,660 Oh, no, Louisa, not you too. 182 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,929 I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be judging the pie contest. 183 00:07:56,929 --> 00:07:58,298 I guess I'm just another desperate pie baker 184 00:07:58,298 --> 00:07:59,565 looking for an edge. 185 00:07:59,565 --> 00:08:01,066 -You've all lost your mind. -Maybe. 186 00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:03,269 But this is a big deal in this small town. 187 00:08:03,269 --> 00:08:04,503 I mean, it's-it's nice. 188 00:08:04,503 --> 00:08:05,905 It's tradition. It's competitive. 189 00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,506 Yeah, it's also high in fat and sugar. 190 00:08:07,506 --> 00:08:09,708 Yeah, but first place is a little blue crown. 191 00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:10,944 But Barry Hammers always wins. 192 00:08:10,944 --> 00:08:12,711 Always. He always takes first. Always. 193 00:08:12,711 --> 00:08:15,414 Now the real competition in Port Wenn is for a second. 194 00:08:15,414 --> 00:08:17,783 Oh, wait. What about ginger? 195 00:08:17,783 --> 00:08:20,553 You know, I mean, that's an interesting combination, right? 196 00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:22,221 With the blueberries. 197 00:08:22,221 --> 00:08:24,523 Louisa, Louisa, Louisa, I am not gonna be judging. 198 00:08:24,523 --> 00:08:25,791 Judge Martin, do these berries look fresh to you? 199 00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:27,426 Am I crazy if I add mint to my pie? 200 00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,194 No, no, no. Listen up, everyone. 201 00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:31,797 I am the town doctor and my only concern is your health. 202 00:08:31,797 --> 00:08:33,699 So you can skip your appointments 203 00:08:33,699 --> 00:08:36,202 and ignore your well-being, but I will not be deciding 204 00:08:36,202 --> 00:08:40,439 the winner of your ridiculous contest, because I don't care. 205 00:08:40,439 --> 00:08:42,141 [splat] 206 00:08:42,141 --> 00:08:44,743 [instrumental music] 207 00:08:48,514 --> 00:08:51,384 Consider the ginger. [laughs] 208 00:08:51,384 --> 00:08:52,985 We'll talk about it later. 209 00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:58,957 [bird squawking] 210 00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:00,825 Delighted to have you in for lunch, doctor. 211 00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,426 It was either this or be force fed 212 00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:03,861 blueberries in the parking lot. 213 00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:05,730 I wanna take the garden salad 214 00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:07,165 with chicken, please. 215 00:09:07,165 --> 00:09:08,299 Unfortunately, we don't have 216 00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:09,533 the garden salad today. 217 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,069 -I am so sorry. -All right. 218 00:09:11,069 --> 00:09:13,604 -Uh, steam fish. -No, not that either. 219 00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:16,441 -Shepherd's pie then. -Hmm. Wouldn't that be lovely? 220 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:17,608 We're out of that one too. 221 00:09:17,608 --> 00:09:19,210 What do you have in the kitchen? 222 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,779 [utensils clattering] 223 00:09:24,682 --> 00:09:27,051 Today, in the kitchen, we have Greg. 224 00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:29,721 [Greg screams] 225 00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:32,256 -It's this pie contest madness. -Oh, no. 226 00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:33,858 Oh, yeah, every year he decides 227 00:09:33,858 --> 00:09:35,827 that he's the chef, that he can cook. 228 00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:38,930 -And yet-- -No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 229 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,666 I chilled this dough. I swear I did. 230 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:45,570 -It's not fair. -I'm not allowed in there. 231 00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:48,372 I'm a pie contest judge. Conflict of interest. 232 00:09:48,372 --> 00:09:51,609 And, yes, I heard that you stepped down from your post. 233 00:09:51,609 --> 00:09:53,077 God knows who they're gonna get to replace you. 234 00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:56,848 -[Greg screams] -It's gonna be a long weekend. 235 00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:58,716 Ah, but we still might have 236 00:09:58,716 --> 00:10:00,752 one last tuna salad in the back fridge. 237 00:10:00,752 --> 00:10:04,422 -I hate mayonnaise. -Oh, beggars can't be choosers. 238 00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:05,990 I'll go check. 239 00:10:08,326 --> 00:10:10,262 Tuna salad is delicious. 240 00:10:10,262 --> 00:10:11,896 Lots of mayonnaise. 241 00:10:13,732 --> 00:10:16,300 [indistinct chatter] 242 00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:22,206 Uh, I-I-I'm sorry, uh, you... 243 00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:25,810 I have to ask. 244 00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:30,214 You're blue. All of you. And no makeup. 245 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,950 You're just blue. 246 00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:35,319 It's because of all the blueberries I eat. 247 00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:37,922 [laughs] You're joking. 248 00:10:39,857 --> 00:10:42,560 You're not? Uh, no, you can't be serious. 249 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,663 -Blueberries wouldn't... -[crashing] 250 00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:49,300 [Mark] Yo, that's on me. 251 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,602 Yo, I'm so sorry. 252 00:10:50,602 --> 00:10:52,404 Totally, totally my fault. 253 00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,705 I just couldn't see you because my eyes. 254 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,407 [Martin] Let's have a look. Put your head back. 255 00:10:56,407 --> 00:10:57,976 Okay. I-I think everything's fine. 256 00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,844 It's just allergies. Happens every year. 257 00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,312 How about you let me make the diagnosis 258 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,680 and you stick to being an idiot? 259 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,983 -Seems fair. -You need to come to my office. 260 00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:07,118 I can't, doc. I gotta go set up the dunk tank. 261 00:11:07,118 --> 00:11:09,087 Yes, I suppose a dunk tank is more important 262 00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:10,888 than you going blind. Come on. This way. 263 00:11:10,888 --> 00:11:12,257 Okay. 264 00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:14,325 [instrumental music] 265 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,162 No, this way. The other way, Mark. 266 00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:18,629 This way. 267 00:11:19,764 --> 00:11:21,266 Ah! 268 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,734 -[chuckles] -Yes. 269 00:11:26,938 --> 00:11:28,873 It's ready. Okay, that's good. 270 00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:31,576 So just like, keep my face in frame all the time. 271 00:11:31,576 --> 00:11:33,277 -Yes. -Like, I'll stay, but... 272 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:36,614 -[dog barks] -Shoo! Go, go, shoo! 273 00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,483 You know, they replaced you on the judging panel 274 00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:39,550 with Bert. 275 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:40,585 Ooh. Big mistake. 276 00:11:40,585 --> 00:11:41,619 You do not wanna give my dad 277 00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:42,687 that much power. 278 00:11:42,687 --> 00:11:44,689 Power? It's a pie contest. 279 00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,557 [Mark] Oh, come on, doc. 280 00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,660 You know, everything here is just so nice 281 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:49,994 and people are so sweet. 282 00:11:49,994 --> 00:11:51,929 We just need one day a year to be, like, 283 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:53,932 really competitive and vicious. 284 00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:56,234 Like "The Purge," but with blueberries. 285 00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:59,236 All right, well, the eye drops and the warm compress 286 00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:01,572 should help your eyes some, but I strongly suspect 287 00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:03,041 you have Reiter's syndrome. 288 00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:04,409 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 289 00:12:04,409 --> 00:12:05,843 I haven't written anything all week. 290 00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:08,713 Maybe a parking ticket. And in my dream journal-- 291 00:12:08,713 --> 00:12:10,849 R-E... Reiter's syndrome. 292 00:12:10,849 --> 00:12:13,851 Is is it painful to urinate, Mark? 293 00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:15,687 Typically people suffering from Reiter's 294 00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:17,655 can't see, can't pee, and can't climb a tree 295 00:12:17,655 --> 00:12:19,290 due to untreated chlamydia. 296 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,826 [whispers] Chlamydia? Chlamydia? 297 00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:24,596 -The STD Chlamydia? -[Martin] Yes. 298 00:12:24,596 --> 00:12:26,397 How many sexual partners have you had 299 00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,933 since your breakup with Louisa? 300 00:12:28,933 --> 00:12:33,304 I don't know, like four, five... 301 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,440 eight... 302 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,676 -I think nine. -[Elaine] My friend Gretchen. 303 00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:40,078 -Ten. -[Al] Debbie 304 00:12:40,078 --> 00:12:41,278 Eleven. 305 00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:44,749 -Ugh! -[Mark] Come on, doc. 306 00:12:44,749 --> 00:12:46,218 You know what it's like. 307 00:12:46,218 --> 00:12:48,285 Big man, small pond, 308 00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:50,722 all the fish jumping into my net. 309 00:12:50,722 --> 00:12:53,157 -You get it? -Yeah, I'd rather not. 310 00:12:53,157 --> 00:12:54,826 So you need to notify 311 00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:56,728 each of your sexual partners of their exposure. 312 00:12:56,728 --> 00:12:58,663 Wait, doc. Notify them? 313 00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:00,831 Like, tell them that I might have given them... 314 00:13:00,831 --> 00:13:02,800 That they might have chlamydia? 315 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,935 Exactly. 316 00:13:03,935 --> 00:13:05,436 And this will clear up the infection. 317 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,971 Prescription for doxycycline. 318 00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:08,973 [Mark] No. No. Wait, doc. Doc, wait. 319 00:13:08,973 --> 00:13:13,078 So, like a prescription that I need to, like, go get filled? 320 00:13:13,078 --> 00:13:15,413 Yes. I assume you know how these things work. 321 00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,881 Elaine, I'm going out to get some food, 322 00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:18,783 and nothing is gonna stop me. 323 00:13:21,419 --> 00:13:23,120 Okay, I guess I have to.... 324 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,857 Somebody's gotta pick up meds from their mommy. 325 00:13:25,857 --> 00:13:27,625 [whispers] Shut up, Al. 326 00:13:29,194 --> 00:13:31,762 [indistinct chatter] 327 00:13:33,164 --> 00:13:35,733 [instrumental music] 328 00:13:46,277 --> 00:13:48,313 Yes, sir. 329 00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:50,581 That's Barry Hammers. 330 00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:52,617 That's our Blue-Barry. Get it? 331 00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:53,851 Blue-Barry. 332 00:13:53,851 --> 00:13:55,486 Here's your coffee, Judge Large. 333 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,555 -No charge, of course. -Thank you. 334 00:13:57,555 --> 00:13:59,190 And he's the one who wins first place 335 00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,325 in the pie contest every year? 336 00:14:00,325 --> 00:14:01,392 -Him? -Yeah. 337 00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,593 [Bert] He-he's basically 338 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,328 the Blueberry Festival mascot, 339 00:14:04,328 --> 00:14:06,931 a master baker, and he's blue. 340 00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:08,466 That's because year in, year out, all he eats-- 341 00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:09,867 Now, that's ridiculous. 342 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,702 You could eat every blueberry on the planet. 343 00:14:11,702 --> 00:14:13,304 -It wouldn't turn you blue. -You know, I turned orange... 344 00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:14,873 when I was on that carrot diet. 345 00:14:14,873 --> 00:14:17,308 -It's not the same thing, Bert. -Tell that the Blue Barry. 346 00:14:17,308 --> 00:14:18,676 Judge Large, almost done 347 00:14:18,676 --> 00:14:20,444 with your complimentary oil change. 348 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,946 Oh, thanks, Billy. 349 00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:23,315 And, hey, tell the missus I'd love 350 00:14:23,315 --> 00:14:25,216 to get my backyard weeded. 351 00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:26,985 No, there must be something wrong with him. 352 00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:29,387 Some condition, and he's using a-- 353 00:14:29,387 --> 00:14:31,089 [Bert] Leave him alone, doc. 354 00:14:31,089 --> 00:14:34,291 Poor old Blue Barry looks a hell of a lot better now 355 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,927 than when we were in high school. 356 00:14:35,927 --> 00:14:37,528 Scary Barry. 357 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,930 He was a real fright back then. 358 00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:41,666 Scary Barry? Why did they call him that? 359 00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:44,802 -Well-- -Hey, Bert, your car's all done. 360 00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:47,538 Excuse me. Pie business. 361 00:14:49,073 --> 00:14:51,676 Hey, Billy, how's the bacon coming? 362 00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:54,145 You know, the bottom's still soggy... 363 00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:55,813 [instrumental music] 364 00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:59,117 Oh, Martin, hi. I've been looking for you. 365 00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:01,485 I just wanted to apologize for being so forward 366 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,987 about the pie contest earlier. 367 00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:05,523 I just think that maybe my ambition got best of-- 368 00:15:05,523 --> 00:15:08,192 Why is this contest so important to you? 369 00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,994 Oh, well, um... 370 00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:11,929 [chuckles] I've always loved to bake. 371 00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:14,566 And in the past, I, I couldn't really try my best 372 00:15:14,566 --> 00:15:16,301 because I couldn't outshine Sally, 373 00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:17,435 my future mother-in-law. 374 00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:19,337 Former future mother-in-law. 375 00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:21,673 I-I always had to wallow in third place 376 00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:24,142 and let her take second year after year. 377 00:15:24,142 --> 00:15:25,577 But now, the gloves are off. 378 00:15:25,577 --> 00:15:27,378 You know, I'm not with Mark anymore, 379 00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:30,448 and I've got a brand-new baking trick up my sleeve, and... 380 00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,083 I don't know, I just feel like 381 00:15:32,083 --> 00:15:34,018 maybe if I could just bust out of third place, 382 00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:36,287 that maybe I could get everyone to see me in a new light. 383 00:15:36,287 --> 00:15:37,655 You know how small towns 384 00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,790 can put you in a box, give you a label? 385 00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,559 You're the spinster. You're the idiot. 386 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:43,427 -You're the grump. -Pie judge. 387 00:15:43,427 --> 00:15:44,862 Exactly. 388 00:15:47,799 --> 00:15:50,034 And you? You're the... 389 00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:53,771 -Heartbreaker. -Hm. 390 00:15:57,442 --> 00:15:58,743 Well... 391 00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:00,679 it does seem like a colossal waste 392 00:16:00,679 --> 00:16:02,547 of time, energy, and food, 393 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,883 but I suppose these little contests 394 00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:06,351 do help to distract people 395 00:16:06,351 --> 00:16:07,451 from the dreary realities 396 00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:09,888 of living in a dead-end town. 397 00:16:09,888 --> 00:16:11,690 Hmm. 398 00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,124 Well, thank you for that. 399 00:16:13,124 --> 00:16:14,826 Um, but this contest 400 00:16:14,826 --> 00:16:17,328 actually really means something to me. 401 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,963 You know, especially this year 402 00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:21,699 when, uh, when I'm trying to prove to myself, actually, 403 00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:24,602 that I can, can be more than I thought I could. 404 00:16:25,603 --> 00:16:27,872 [pensive music] 405 00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:34,412 Now, listen, Johnny. 406 00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:36,147 I let you off the hook last week twice 407 00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:38,082 because you were filling mailboxes with fish heads. 408 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:39,417 All right? No! 409 00:16:39,417 --> 00:16:41,352 So you're gonna do this for me, okay? 410 00:16:41,352 --> 00:16:44,222 -Here. -Dude, this is crazy. 411 00:16:44,222 --> 00:16:47,825 Your name's on the prescription. The pharmacist is your mom. 412 00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:50,662 Okay, but she's really busy, and she may not notice. Okay? 413 00:16:50,662 --> 00:16:52,531 Here, come on. I'll give you my handcuffs. 414 00:16:52,531 --> 00:16:54,065 I'm not gonna do it. 415 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,036 Your eyes look super grody. 416 00:16:58,036 --> 00:16:59,804 Shut up, Johnny! Huh? 417 00:17:01,305 --> 00:17:03,774 Yeah. Your little baby bike! 418 00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:06,611 [Sarah] Sally. 419 00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:09,080 What's supposed to go right here? 420 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,016 Oh, that's for my next trophy, of course. 421 00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:13,585 Oh, but you're a judge this year. 422 00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:15,853 We should not be talking about the pie contest. 423 00:17:15,853 --> 00:17:18,123 Okay, here. Let me ring you up. 424 00:17:18,123 --> 00:17:19,658 [beeping] 425 00:17:19,658 --> 00:17:21,292 With the new prescription, 426 00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,294 that is $127.90. 427 00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:28,399 What? $127 a month? What the hell? 428 00:17:28,399 --> 00:17:29,567 Well, it's this new blood thinner 429 00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,002 that Dr. Best puts you on. 430 00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,436 It's very pricey. 431 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,072 No, no, no, I'll just stick to the old one. 432 00:17:34,072 --> 00:17:35,306 I'm not paying that. 433 00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:37,541 Well, you do have one refill left. 434 00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,444 Should I call Dr. Best to make sure it's okay? 435 00:17:39,444 --> 00:17:41,445 No, no, I'm keeping him 436 00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,548 out of my personal health issues from now on. 437 00:17:44,548 --> 00:17:46,617 He comes to lunch and brings his stethoscope. 438 00:17:46,617 --> 00:17:48,819 Ooh! Is it cold on your skin? 439 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:52,123 I bet Dr. Best has very warm hands. 440 00:17:52,123 --> 00:17:53,691 Sally. He's my nephew. 441 00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:55,126 [Sally] All right. 442 00:17:56,427 --> 00:17:58,295 $21.45 then. 443 00:17:58,295 --> 00:18:00,865 -[Sarah] Okay. -Oh, hi, honey. 444 00:18:00,865 --> 00:18:04,168 -What brings you in? -Oh, hey, hey, ma. 445 00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:05,437 Can't really talk right now. 446 00:18:05,437 --> 00:18:06,904 I have this developing crime situation 447 00:18:06,904 --> 00:18:07,939 down on Lincoln. 448 00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:09,874 Um, I just need to fill this prescript 449 00:18:09,874 --> 00:18:12,577 real fast. No biggie. No diggity. 450 00:18:12,577 --> 00:18:14,044 [Mark clears throat] 451 00:18:15,212 --> 00:18:17,948 -Did Louisa do this to you? -No, mom, stop. 452 00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:20,718 What is it? Gonorrhea? Syphilis? 453 00:18:20,718 --> 00:18:22,854 The big H? The little H? 454 00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:25,790 No, no, it has nothing do, nothing like that. 455 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,926 And Louisa has nothing to do with it. 456 00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:30,295 It's... 457 00:18:30,295 --> 00:18:31,662 It's... 458 00:18:34,131 --> 00:18:35,566 It's chlamydia. 459 00:18:35,566 --> 00:18:38,436 Chlamydia? Well, that's not so bad. 460 00:18:38,436 --> 00:18:40,705 Everybody's had chlamydia, sweetheart. 461 00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,440 At least it's not the crabs. 462 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,109 Crabs are so much worse. 463 00:18:44,109 --> 00:18:47,211 Looking down and seeing those little monsters snapping at you. 464 00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,479 Who gave this to you? 465 00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:49,747 [Sarah] Was it that Gretchen? 466 00:18:49,747 --> 00:18:52,083 Elaine's friend, the one with the face? 467 00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:53,217 They all have faces... 468 00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,618 Oh, yeah, sounds right. 469 00:18:54,618 --> 00:18:56,421 -She's awful. -[Mark] No. 470 00:18:56,421 --> 00:18:58,289 I don't know. I don't know! 471 00:18:58,289 --> 00:19:00,058 Honey, relax. 472 00:19:00,058 --> 00:19:01,726 You're a single man now. 473 00:19:01,726 --> 00:19:03,828 Something like this was bound to happen. 474 00:19:03,828 --> 00:19:06,297 I'm actually proud of you 475 00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:07,598 sowing your wild oats. 476 00:19:07,598 --> 00:19:10,534 And until this antibiotic kicks in, 477 00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,303 a good place to dip your doinker 478 00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:13,604 for a few minutes every night 479 00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:16,174 is a nice cold glass of 7-Up. 480 00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:17,709 Mom, stop! 481 00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,078 -Hm. -Really? 482 00:19:20,078 --> 00:19:22,180 [Sally] Yeah, honey. 483 00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,814 Something about the bubbles. 484 00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:27,318 [instrumental music] 485 00:19:49,541 --> 00:19:51,309 [whispering] It's better. This is... 486 00:19:51,309 --> 00:19:52,577 [door opens] 487 00:19:52,577 --> 00:19:54,712 Ah! You're not supposed to be here. 488 00:19:54,712 --> 00:19:56,247 I'm still getting ready for tomorrow. 489 00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:58,616 I'm so sorry. Should I come back at a better time? 490 00:19:58,616 --> 00:20:00,885 Yeah, actually. This is a mess. 491 00:20:00,885 --> 00:20:02,553 Al can't be my cameraman anymore. 492 00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:04,155 He has to run the dunk tank tomorrow 493 00:20:04,155 --> 00:20:06,057 at the street fair. 494 00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:07,725 What are you doing here? 495 00:20:07,725 --> 00:20:09,694 I'm looking to see if Dr. Reese 496 00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:11,829 ever treated Barry Hammers. 497 00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,831 I need to understand why that man is blue. 498 00:20:13,831 --> 00:20:15,700 Something could actually be wrong with him. 499 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,969 A whole half day off, and you can't stop doctoring. 500 00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:20,438 Not gonna find any files on there for Barry Hammers. 501 00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,106 -I'm not? -Blue Barry? 502 00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:24,709 He was never a patient here. Like, ever. 503 00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:26,410 Someone actually told me... 504 00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:28,112 Was it Irma? I think it was Irma. 505 00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:30,715 Was it Irma? I don't know if it was Irma specifically. 506 00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,550 -Irregar-- -Told you what? 507 00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,619 Irma says that Blue Barry 508 00:20:34,619 --> 00:20:37,155 had some kind of horrible medical condition 509 00:20:37,155 --> 00:20:38,689 when he was in high school. 510 00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:40,791 He had to be seen by some specialist in Bar Harbor. 511 00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:43,694 -A specialist? -Yeah. Okay, listen, listen. 512 00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:46,431 You're gonna be my cameraman tomorrow at the festival. 513 00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:47,832 Oh. 514 00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:49,533 I most certainly will not be doing that. 515 00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:52,069 Al is out. You're the only option that I have left. 516 00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:53,838 And I'm covering the festival from 9:00 a.m. 517 00:20:53,838 --> 00:20:56,341 to midnight tomorrow, so please wear some comfortable shoes. 518 00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:58,009 Not these. 519 00:20:58,009 --> 00:21:00,144 For the last time, I will not be attending 520 00:21:00,144 --> 00:21:04,316 or participating in this godforsaken festival. 521 00:21:04,316 --> 00:21:07,051 [instrumental music] 522 00:21:07,051 --> 00:21:08,586 What? 523 00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:10,154 What? What-what is this look? 524 00:21:12,189 --> 00:21:14,425 No, I just... 525 00:21:14,425 --> 00:21:15,693 I would just like to remind you 526 00:21:15,693 --> 00:21:18,329 that there are certain things 527 00:21:18,329 --> 00:21:20,165 that I'm doing. 528 00:21:20,165 --> 00:21:21,899 Certain blood things 529 00:21:21,899 --> 00:21:24,035 that I am doing. 530 00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:25,603 For you. 531 00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:27,305 Things that I may not want to do, 532 00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:29,173 but that I do anyway. 533 00:21:29,173 --> 00:21:31,308 So, maybe... 534 00:21:31,308 --> 00:21:34,579 you could do something for me 535 00:21:34,579 --> 00:21:36,581 that you don't wanna do. 536 00:21:36,581 --> 00:21:38,716 This is blackmail. 537 00:21:38,716 --> 00:21:41,585 You are blackmailing me. 538 00:21:41,585 --> 00:21:43,087 And remember, 539 00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,156 this is the good side of my face. 540 00:21:45,156 --> 00:21:47,058 [phone ringing] 541 00:21:49,193 --> 00:21:51,730 Doc Martin and Elaine's office. 542 00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:54,399 How can I help you today? 543 00:21:54,399 --> 00:21:56,667 Oh, yes. Okay. Yes. 544 00:21:58,002 --> 00:22:00,404 The doctor is needed at the Salty Breeze. 545 00:22:00,404 --> 00:22:02,306 Somebody has burned their hand. 546 00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:06,311 And I will see you tomorrow 547 00:22:06,311 --> 00:22:07,946 at the Blueberry Festival 548 00:22:07,946 --> 00:22:11,583 at 9:00 a.m., live from Port Wenn. 549 00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:13,317 Have a safe evening. 550 00:22:14,218 --> 00:22:16,421 And goodnight. 551 00:22:16,421 --> 00:22:18,389 He's been baking around the clock, 552 00:22:18,389 --> 00:22:20,658 not sleeping, not being careful. 553 00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:21,793 It'll be fine. 554 00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:24,061 But what isn't fine... 555 00:22:24,061 --> 00:22:26,931 is people getting injured because of a pie contest. 556 00:22:26,931 --> 00:22:28,533 No, you can't wrap it up too much. 557 00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:30,702 I need my hand all day tomorrow. I have to bake. 558 00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:32,704 -Do you hear what you're saying? -I have to bake. 559 00:22:32,704 --> 00:22:34,172 You're having a nervous breakdown 560 00:22:34,172 --> 00:22:35,539 over a pie contest. 561 00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:36,574 I have to bake. 562 00:22:36,574 --> 00:22:38,576 Greg, honey, this pie contest 563 00:22:38,576 --> 00:22:40,445 is giving you an anxiety attack. 564 00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:42,314 But won't it be worth it if I win? 565 00:22:42,314 --> 00:22:43,447 No. 566 00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:44,982 All year long, all I hear about 567 00:22:44,982 --> 00:22:47,852 is George's lobster rolls and George's chowder. 568 00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:50,422 I... People just see me as the money guy, 569 00:22:50,422 --> 00:22:52,290 some silent partner, 570 00:22:52,290 --> 00:22:55,026 George's less creative other half, 571 00:22:55,026 --> 00:22:56,794 but I'm more than that. 572 00:22:56,794 --> 00:22:58,129 Can't you just give him a sedative? 573 00:22:58,129 --> 00:23:00,298 Everyone in this town needs a sedative. 574 00:23:00,298 --> 00:23:04,068 I can't win the pie contest. 575 00:23:04,068 --> 00:23:05,403 Barry will win. 576 00:23:05,403 --> 00:23:07,839 -Barry always wins. -Always wins. 577 00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:11,008 But for once, I'd like to just place second, 578 00:23:11,008 --> 00:23:14,845 third, honorable mention, tartest filling. 579 00:23:14,845 --> 00:23:17,148 It would prove that I can make things, too. 580 00:23:17,148 --> 00:23:18,549 That I'm good with my hands. 581 00:23:18,549 --> 00:23:20,985 -Just not this hand. -I know. 582 00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:24,789 I should be happy for all of Barry's success. 583 00:23:24,789 --> 00:23:26,791 Irma told me what a troubled youth he had. 584 00:23:26,791 --> 00:23:28,226 Wait, what do you mean by that? 585 00:23:28,226 --> 00:23:30,795 Just how he rose above all his medical issues 586 00:23:30,795 --> 00:23:32,697 to become this local legend. 587 00:23:32,697 --> 00:23:34,565 I was a troubled teen, too. 588 00:23:34,565 --> 00:23:37,302 In high school, the football team locked me 589 00:23:37,302 --> 00:23:38,836 in the janitor's closet 590 00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:42,006 after I highlighted my hair. 591 00:23:42,006 --> 00:23:43,541 Where's my prize? 592 00:23:43,541 --> 00:23:45,543 So you're saying Barry was sick as a kid? 593 00:23:45,543 --> 00:23:47,411 -Terrible illness? -It was just acne. 594 00:23:47,411 --> 00:23:49,447 Horrible acne. Apparently awful. 595 00:23:49,447 --> 00:23:50,815 Disfiguring. 596 00:23:50,815 --> 00:23:53,451 Irma went to the prom with Scary Barry. 597 00:23:53,451 --> 00:23:54,586 So he had bad skin? 598 00:23:54,586 --> 00:23:56,587 And my mother disowned me. 599 00:23:56,587 --> 00:23:58,456 Maybe I should write that in berries 600 00:23:58,456 --> 00:24:00,257 across the top of my pie. 601 00:24:00,257 --> 00:24:02,560 Greg, honey. Hey, look at me. 602 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,563 -Look at me. -Look that way. 603 00:24:04,563 --> 00:24:06,831 I love you. So much. 604 00:24:06,831 --> 00:24:08,700 But this is not worth it. 605 00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:10,668 Year after year, you whip yourself up 606 00:24:10,668 --> 00:24:13,171 into a lather over a blueberry! 607 00:24:13,171 --> 00:24:14,638 Oh! 608 00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:17,641 Yes! 609 00:24:29,154 --> 00:24:31,288 [instrumental music] 610 00:24:33,024 --> 00:24:35,526 [indistinct chatter] 611 00:24:42,567 --> 00:24:44,569 [Elaine] Hi. 612 00:24:44,569 --> 00:24:46,171 You getting this, though? 613 00:24:46,171 --> 00:24:47,905 Are you seeing that? 614 00:24:47,905 --> 00:24:50,408 Ah, okay. Ahem. 615 00:24:50,408 --> 00:24:52,577 Reporting live from Port Wenn's 616 00:24:52,577 --> 00:24:54,479 Annual Blueberry Festival, 617 00:24:54,479 --> 00:24:56,547 I am Elaine Denton. 618 00:24:56,547 --> 00:24:59,284 Let us take this moment to get the reactions 619 00:24:59,284 --> 00:25:03,988 from the man and wo-man on the street, shall we? 620 00:25:03,988 --> 00:25:06,825 -This should be fascinating. -Just seriously. 621 00:25:06,825 --> 00:25:08,192 So it's men and women on the street? 622 00:25:08,192 --> 00:25:09,827 It's everyone on the street. 623 00:25:09,827 --> 00:25:11,696 [Martin] Mm. You wanna get a reaction from the pig? 624 00:25:11,696 --> 00:25:13,431 Won't you to ask the pig a question? 625 00:25:13,431 --> 00:25:14,932 Hello, good sir. 626 00:25:14,932 --> 00:25:18,269 How are you finding the festival this year? 627 00:25:18,269 --> 00:25:21,072 -It's okay. -Okay? 628 00:25:21,072 --> 00:25:23,541 So th-that's all you're feeling? 629 00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:25,476 Uh, okay. 630 00:25:25,476 --> 00:25:26,744 Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm asking. 631 00:25:26,744 --> 00:25:29,814 -It's just okay? -Oh, okay. 632 00:25:31,616 --> 00:25:34,719 Okay. Have you ever actually hit someone 633 00:25:34,719 --> 00:25:36,253 with your rolling pin? 634 00:25:37,822 --> 00:25:40,091 Cobbler, crumble, or crisp, 635 00:25:40,091 --> 00:25:43,260 can anything really compete with pie? 636 00:25:46,864 --> 00:25:49,567 Hello, ma'am, have you traveled a great distance 637 00:25:49,567 --> 00:25:52,003 to sample Maine's finest blueberries 638 00:25:52,003 --> 00:25:53,805 here in Port Wenn? 639 00:25:53,805 --> 00:25:56,974 Elaine, it's me, Irma. 640 00:25:56,974 --> 00:25:59,343 Hey, how many people are watching my live feed now? 641 00:25:59,343 --> 00:26:00,711 How should I know? 642 00:26:00,711 --> 00:26:02,580 The number is at the top of the screen. 643 00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:04,416 What are you, like a hundred? 644 00:26:04,416 --> 00:26:05,683 Two. 645 00:26:05,683 --> 00:26:08,220 Al and someone named Port Wenn-dy. 646 00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:10,221 [Elaine] That's it? 647 00:26:10,221 --> 00:26:12,656 Nobody else in the whole town is watching my coverage? 648 00:26:12,656 --> 00:26:15,060 It's not the moon landing, and everyone is here. 649 00:26:15,060 --> 00:26:16,961 Oh, it's a disaster. 650 00:26:16,961 --> 00:26:19,230 How am I ever gonna get any kind of a national following? 651 00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:21,566 I can't even get my friends and neighbors to watch me. 652 00:26:21,566 --> 00:26:24,034 Wait. We have another live viewer. 653 00:26:25,537 --> 00:26:27,939 -It's your mother. -She's just tuning in now? 654 00:26:27,939 --> 00:26:32,009 No, but she's commenting. "Is that my blazer?" 655 00:26:33,711 --> 00:26:36,414 -[applause] -Oh, this is something. 656 00:26:36,414 --> 00:26:37,949 This is something. This is something. 657 00:26:37,949 --> 00:26:39,450 Doc! 658 00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:41,419 [all cheering] 659 00:26:41,419 --> 00:26:43,754 All right, now, everybody! 660 00:26:44,455 --> 00:26:46,457 One dollar per throw. 661 00:26:46,457 --> 00:26:48,426 All proceeds to benefit 662 00:26:48,426 --> 00:26:51,563 the Jailhouse Black Mold Removal Fund! 663 00:26:51,563 --> 00:26:55,099 -Oh, Kimberly, um, how are you? -I got your message. 664 00:26:55,099 --> 00:26:57,835 Oh, right, about the, um, the notification. 665 00:26:57,835 --> 00:27:00,438 Right. Just wanted to keep you aware. 666 00:27:00,438 --> 00:27:02,307 So I just have to go there because... 667 00:27:02,307 --> 00:27:03,607 It's just I have a dunk tank thing 668 00:27:03,607 --> 00:27:04,976 that I'm kind of doing right now. 669 00:27:04,976 --> 00:27:06,878 My mother heard the voicemail you left me. 670 00:27:06,878 --> 00:27:08,846 -She did? -I'm gonna kill you. 671 00:27:08,846 --> 00:27:12,283 Okay. Okay. You know, we don't need to, like, hurl... 672 00:27:12,283 --> 00:27:14,052 Just, you know, we can... 673 00:27:14,052 --> 00:27:15,887 Okay, so if we just... 674 00:27:15,887 --> 00:27:19,590 Marilyn? Yvonne? Gretchen?! Gretchen. 675 00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:21,292 Oh, you guys just got my call. 676 00:27:21,292 --> 00:27:23,561 That's good because, that's good 677 00:27:23,561 --> 00:27:24,829 because sometimes it went to voicemail. 678 00:27:24,829 --> 00:27:26,698 I wasn't sure. Okay, ladies. 679 00:27:26,698 --> 00:27:28,699 Let's just remember that this is a game, huh? 680 00:27:28,699 --> 00:27:29,967 It's all for fun. 681 00:27:29,967 --> 00:27:31,269 [Elaine] A larger than normal turnout 682 00:27:31,269 --> 00:27:32,437 at the dunk tank this year. 683 00:27:32,437 --> 00:27:33,671 All of the players seem 684 00:27:33,671 --> 00:27:34,939 very motivated. 685 00:27:34,939 --> 00:27:36,774 Your faces are just so angry. 686 00:27:37,709 --> 00:27:39,077 -[Mark gasping] -[ball thuds] 687 00:27:39,077 --> 00:27:40,711 -Okay! -Whoa! 688 00:27:40,711 --> 00:27:42,480 That was a real slammer there, Karen. That was... 689 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,549 -Whoo! -My name is Carol. 690 00:27:44,549 --> 00:27:46,884 Carol. I meant... I knew that. 691 00:27:46,884 --> 00:27:48,886 She feels very strongly about 692 00:27:48,886 --> 00:27:51,689 eradicating that jailhouse mold. 693 00:27:51,689 --> 00:27:53,724 [Mark] You, you gotta put some high heat on that one. 694 00:27:53,724 --> 00:27:55,760 -[ball thuds] -Whoo! Okay, that was... 695 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:56,861 Wha! 696 00:27:57,928 --> 00:28:00,531 -Okay! I felt it. -[ball thuds] 697 00:28:00,531 --> 00:28:03,167 Everything got, like, whooped. [laughs] 698 00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,301 [splashing] 699 00:28:05,903 --> 00:28:07,138 Okay. 700 00:28:08,172 --> 00:28:09,306 [women giggling] 701 00:28:11,009 --> 00:28:13,811 Okay, okay, okay. Enough, enough, back off! 702 00:28:13,811 --> 00:28:16,313 Ladies, come on! Come on, enough, enough! 703 00:28:16,313 --> 00:28:17,815 Okay, enough! 704 00:28:20,150 --> 00:28:21,518 Hey. 705 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:25,055 Is this embarrassing for me? 706 00:28:25,055 --> 00:28:26,456 Yes. 707 00:28:27,858 --> 00:28:30,294 [Bret on PA] Attention! Attention, everybody! 708 00:28:30,294 --> 00:28:32,529 It's almost time! The judges have finished 709 00:28:32,529 --> 00:28:34,398 their final tasting round, and soon we'll begin 710 00:28:34,398 --> 00:28:37,434 the award ceremony for the Annual Port Wenn's 711 00:28:37,434 --> 00:28:39,269 Blueberry Pie Contest. 712 00:28:39,269 --> 00:28:40,904 Now, somewhere in the crowd 713 00:28:40,904 --> 00:28:42,138 could be this year's winner. 714 00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:43,306 Who will it be? 715 00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,476 Come on into Legion Hall and grab a seat! 716 00:28:45,476 --> 00:28:47,043 Oh, wait, oh, wait. 717 00:28:47,043 --> 00:28:48,645 We're at capacity. 718 00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:49,546 Sorry. 719 00:28:49,546 --> 00:28:51,214 Well, that's not my fault! 720 00:28:51,214 --> 00:28:52,949 Come on, you guys should have known! 721 00:28:52,949 --> 00:28:55,052 No, no. 722 00:28:55,052 --> 00:28:57,688 You know better than that. 723 00:28:57,688 --> 00:28:59,989 -[indistinct chatter] -[instrumental music] 724 00:29:10,467 --> 00:29:12,269 -Hey. -All right. 725 00:29:12,269 --> 00:29:14,804 [indistinct chatter] 726 00:29:18,408 --> 00:29:20,777 -Um, sorry. -[George] Hm. 727 00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:24,548 Perfect. 728 00:29:24,548 --> 00:29:27,484 Tucked snugly into a crowded firehouse. 729 00:29:27,484 --> 00:29:29,319 Shh. 730 00:29:29,319 --> 00:29:31,154 Completely shut out every year. 731 00:29:31,154 --> 00:29:32,289 Left behind every year. 732 00:29:32,289 --> 00:29:33,590 I'm trying to watch this. 733 00:29:33,590 --> 00:29:35,659 Oh, of course, of course. I'm sorry. 734 00:29:35,659 --> 00:29:37,294 Okay, how many people are watching now? 735 00:29:37,294 --> 00:29:39,162 On the live feed, I mean. 736 00:29:39,162 --> 00:29:41,064 -One. -Just my mom? 737 00:29:41,064 --> 00:29:44,167 Okay. I guess Al made it inside then. 738 00:29:44,167 --> 00:29:45,735 Okay. All right, ahem, all right. 739 00:29:45,735 --> 00:29:48,171 -[clears throat] -This is so stressful. 740 00:29:48,171 --> 00:29:50,507 Get a hold of yourself. 741 00:29:52,142 --> 00:29:56,547 Louisa, you're cutting off the circulation in your fingers. 742 00:29:56,547 --> 00:29:58,148 Just another simple person 743 00:29:58,148 --> 00:30:01,618 trying to distract herself from the dreary reality, I suppose. 744 00:30:01,618 --> 00:30:03,987 I-I didn't mean to imply that you were simple. 745 00:30:03,987 --> 00:30:05,522 I-I was only... 746 00:30:05,522 --> 00:30:07,324 I-it's just a pie contest. 747 00:30:07,324 --> 00:30:10,060 No, it's more than that. But you wouldn't understand 748 00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:11,127 because you don't want to understand. 749 00:30:11,127 --> 00:30:12,429 And you don't want to understand 750 00:30:12,429 --> 00:30:14,631 because you actually don't give a crap. 751 00:30:14,631 --> 00:30:16,166 I'm number two. 752 00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:18,035 I'm number two. 753 00:30:18,035 --> 00:30:20,937 Good evening. Good afternoon, mom. 754 00:30:20,937 --> 00:30:23,040 I'm Elaine Denton 755 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,941 recording, reporting live 756 00:30:24,941 --> 00:30:29,280 inside Legion Hall where judging has just commenced. 757 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,815 Demenced. Has ended. 758 00:30:31,815 --> 00:30:34,584 And basically they've, they've eaten all the pies 759 00:30:34,584 --> 00:30:36,786 and soon will know the winner. 760 00:30:36,786 --> 00:30:38,788 Live. With me. 761 00:30:38,788 --> 00:30:43,059 Your daughter. For Blue Witness Eyes. 762 00:30:43,059 --> 00:30:44,594 Eyewitness Blues. 763 00:30:46,296 --> 00:30:48,965 Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon. 764 00:30:48,965 --> 00:30:52,002 Uh, we, the judges, have come up with our final decisions. 765 00:30:52,002 --> 00:30:55,305 Now, as you know, this is a blind taste test. 766 00:30:55,305 --> 00:30:58,575 And it is my job, privilege, honor, 767 00:30:58,575 --> 00:31:01,511 to announce that in third place, 768 00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:04,448 pie 21. 769 00:31:04,448 --> 00:31:06,283 -[gasps] -[George] What? 770 00:31:06,283 --> 00:31:08,718 -That's me. That's me. -[applause] 771 00:31:08,718 --> 00:31:10,421 [George] No. [Greg] That's me. 772 00:31:10,421 --> 00:31:11,888 -No. -[Greg] That's me. 773 00:31:11,888 --> 00:31:13,657 Wow, big upset. 774 00:31:13,657 --> 00:31:17,161 Greg Garrison has taken third place. 775 00:31:17,161 --> 00:31:18,795 [applause] 776 00:31:18,795 --> 00:31:21,464 Also, mom, can I keep the blazer? 777 00:31:21,464 --> 00:31:23,733 -I think it looks good on me. -[Greg] I did it! I did it! 778 00:31:23,733 --> 00:31:26,269 I made something good! And I placed! 779 00:31:26,269 --> 00:31:29,072 I knew you could do it, honey! [kisses] 780 00:31:29,072 --> 00:31:31,875 But I-I-I always win third. Always. 781 00:31:33,176 --> 00:31:34,911 Does this mean... 782 00:31:39,282 --> 00:31:42,819 [Bert] And in second place, we chose 783 00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:44,521 pie number seven. 784 00:31:45,755 --> 00:31:47,157 C'est moi. 785 00:31:47,157 --> 00:31:48,726 [Elaine] Well, mom, you were right. 786 00:31:48,726 --> 00:31:50,160 Sally Milo has taken 787 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,262 second place again this year. 788 00:31:52,262 --> 00:31:54,431 Wait. Wait. 789 00:31:54,431 --> 00:31:56,166 What does this mean? 790 00:31:56,166 --> 00:31:57,634 I couldn't... 791 00:31:57,634 --> 00:32:00,037 Did I? Have I? 792 00:32:00,037 --> 00:32:01,805 Have I taken first? 793 00:32:04,708 --> 00:32:08,912 And thank you. In first place... 794 00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:09,946 Excuse me. 795 00:32:11,915 --> 00:32:16,853 In first place is pie 13. 796 00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:18,789 What? 797 00:32:18,789 --> 00:32:21,625 [applause] 798 00:32:21,625 --> 00:32:23,961 Oh! Again? 799 00:32:23,961 --> 00:32:26,930 And as always, Barry Hammers takes first place 800 00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:29,999 in the Annual Port Wenn Pie Baking Contest. 801 00:32:29,999 --> 00:32:31,168 I didn't even... 802 00:32:31,168 --> 00:32:32,902 I didn't even place? 803 00:32:34,938 --> 00:32:37,407 [pensive music] 804 00:32:38,609 --> 00:32:40,910 [chuckles] 805 00:32:45,181 --> 00:32:46,216 -[thuds] -[exclaims] 806 00:32:46,216 --> 00:32:47,517 Aunt Sarah! 807 00:32:51,989 --> 00:32:54,157 I'm fine. 808 00:32:54,157 --> 00:32:56,293 No, your heartbeat is weak and irregular. 809 00:32:56,293 --> 00:32:57,594 How long until the ambulance gets here? 810 00:32:57,594 --> 00:32:59,429 Ten minutes. They're all out at the hospital. 811 00:32:59,429 --> 00:33:01,531 -We can take her in my car. -No, we need the oxygen. 812 00:33:01,531 --> 00:33:03,700 -We can do ten minutes. -[Sarah] I'm okay. 813 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:07,904 No. You just need to hold still and be quiet, okay? 814 00:33:12,041 --> 00:33:13,743 [phone chiming] 815 00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,713 Oh, um, clear the street outside of Legion Hall. 816 00:33:16,713 --> 00:33:18,215 An ambulance is coming for Sarah, 817 00:33:18,215 --> 00:33:19,582 and everybody think good thoughts. 818 00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:21,451 -She's gonna be okay. -Okay. 819 00:33:21,451 --> 00:33:23,821 We're waiting for the ambulance. 820 00:33:23,821 --> 00:33:25,922 -...waiting for the ambulance... -I don't understand. 821 00:33:25,922 --> 00:33:27,290 She was fine all day, 822 00:33:27,290 --> 00:33:28,992 right up until the last round of judging. 823 00:33:28,992 --> 00:33:30,294 When did she start feeling ill? 824 00:33:30,294 --> 00:33:31,428 [George] We ate so much. 825 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:33,263 I think it started 826 00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:35,765 just when we were tasting the last few pies. 827 00:33:35,765 --> 00:33:37,333 Those pies. 828 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:40,704 Well, she is on a wide assortment of medications. 829 00:33:40,704 --> 00:33:42,906 Possible some ingredient in one of the pies 830 00:33:42,906 --> 00:33:45,208 is interacting badly with... 831 00:33:45,208 --> 00:33:46,710 W-which of those pies did she eat less? 832 00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:49,479 -Um, um, that one, number seven. -Oh, that's my pie. 833 00:33:49,479 --> 00:33:51,581 Okay, I need you to tell me exactly what's in your pie 834 00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:54,017 right now, every ingredient. 835 00:33:54,017 --> 00:33:56,319 Oh, it's, uh, nothing unusual. 836 00:33:56,319 --> 00:34:00,156 Um, lard, lard in the, um, organic wheat crust. 837 00:34:00,156 --> 00:34:01,391 [Martin] Mm-hmm. 838 00:34:01,391 --> 00:34:03,894 And, uh, sugar, cornstarch, lemon. 839 00:34:03,894 --> 00:34:05,295 Blueberries, of course. 840 00:34:05,295 --> 00:34:07,297 Oh, do I have to say it? 841 00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:08,932 [all] Yes! 842 00:34:08,932 --> 00:34:13,036 Just a sprinkle of powdered MSG. 843 00:34:13,036 --> 00:34:14,671 [all gasping] 844 00:34:14,671 --> 00:34:17,808 My mother always said it made the blueberries pop. 845 00:34:17,808 --> 00:34:18,842 And it was nothing. 846 00:34:18,842 --> 00:34:21,278 I was like, no, barely nothing there. 847 00:34:21,278 --> 00:34:23,079 Monosodium glutamate would only cause 848 00:34:23,079 --> 00:34:24,715 a slight increase in heartrate. 849 00:34:24,715 --> 00:34:26,616 That's not what's happening here. It's not the MSG. 850 00:34:26,616 --> 00:34:29,319 But that MSG is a violation of contest rules. 851 00:34:29,319 --> 00:34:32,723 All organic, all homegrown ingredients. You cheated. 852 00:34:32,723 --> 00:34:35,525 Sally Milo, I'm afraid we have to eliminate you 853 00:34:35,525 --> 00:34:36,894 from the competition. 854 00:34:36,894 --> 00:34:39,462 No. No, George, no! 855 00:34:39,462 --> 00:34:42,699 Well, w-who made that pie, number 14, over there? 856 00:34:42,699 --> 00:34:44,468 That would have been in fourth place, right? 857 00:34:44,468 --> 00:34:47,537 That's mine. That's, that's my pie. 858 00:34:49,706 --> 00:34:52,342 [Elaine] Oh, um, hello, everyone. 859 00:34:52,342 --> 00:34:54,178 Uh, a very surprising turn of events 860 00:34:54,178 --> 00:34:56,547 here at the pie contest. 861 00:34:56,547 --> 00:34:58,716 Quiet, everyone, everyone! 862 00:34:58,716 --> 00:35:00,817 What pie did Sarah eat before Sally's? 863 00:35:00,817 --> 00:35:02,185 Uh, that one, pie 13. 864 00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:03,754 Yeah, yeah, that's Blue Barry's blueberry pie. 865 00:35:03,754 --> 00:35:06,823 I can guarantee you that the ingredients in my pie 866 00:35:06,823 --> 00:35:10,794 are, as always, 100% organic and homegrown. 867 00:35:10,794 --> 00:35:12,596 Did you grow your ingredients yourself? 868 00:35:12,596 --> 00:35:13,730 Yes. 869 00:35:13,730 --> 00:35:15,265 And did you use any fertilizers or pesticides? 870 00:35:15,265 --> 00:35:17,734 [Barry] How dare you even ask me that? 871 00:35:17,734 --> 00:35:20,537 Do you even know what organic means? 872 00:35:20,537 --> 00:35:22,572 Are we gonna really let this outsider 873 00:35:22,572 --> 00:35:25,442 come into our town and question me? 874 00:35:25,442 --> 00:35:28,612 Blue Barry, the Blueberry Festival mascot. 875 00:35:28,612 --> 00:35:30,580 Excuse me, I was merely asking if... 876 00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:32,582 Then I am merely telling you 877 00:35:32,582 --> 00:35:36,586 that I was guaranteed my pie's ingredients 878 00:35:36,586 --> 00:35:41,458 were 100% certified organic. 879 00:35:41,458 --> 00:35:44,761 Wait, y-you were guaranteed by whom? 880 00:35:44,761 --> 00:35:46,629 By me. 881 00:35:46,629 --> 00:35:48,598 I guaranteed me. 882 00:35:48,598 --> 00:35:50,534 You bought that pie, didn't you? 883 00:35:50,534 --> 00:35:52,168 No, no, of course not. 884 00:35:52,168 --> 00:35:53,403 I don't care if that pie came 885 00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:54,538 from your kitchen or the dumpster 886 00:35:54,538 --> 00:35:55,738 behind the Salty Breeze. 887 00:35:55,738 --> 00:35:57,440 I only care about my aunt's life. 888 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,943 Now, do you or do you not know 889 00:35:58,943 --> 00:36:01,045 what's in that pie? 890 00:36:01,045 --> 00:36:03,012 I don't know. I bought it. 891 00:36:03,012 --> 00:36:04,614 [all gasping] 892 00:36:04,614 --> 00:36:07,584 Online. But there was nothing unusual in it. 893 00:36:07,584 --> 00:36:10,553 I-I swear to you, I swear. 894 00:36:10,553 --> 00:36:12,155 [Elaine] I wish I could describe 895 00:36:12,155 --> 00:36:13,556 the feeling in the room right now. 896 00:36:13,556 --> 00:36:16,660 -It is electric. -You're B-Blue Barry. 897 00:36:16,660 --> 00:36:19,296 Be-because of all the blueberries you eat. 898 00:36:19,296 --> 00:36:23,032 Because, year in and year out, around the clock, 899 00:36:23,032 --> 00:36:25,335 you're baking blueberry pies. 900 00:36:25,335 --> 00:36:27,403 I don't even know how to cook! 901 00:36:27,403 --> 00:36:28,838 -Oh, my gosh. -[crowd exclaims] 902 00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:31,074 And it's not from blueberries, Bert. 903 00:36:31,074 --> 00:36:34,677 He's been using colloidal silver for, what, 40 years? 904 00:36:34,677 --> 00:36:37,080 You saw that dermatologist when you were a teenager 905 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,583 and he prescribed it for your chronic acne, right? 906 00:36:39,583 --> 00:36:41,885 But he was only supposed to use the lotion for two months, 907 00:36:41,885 --> 00:36:44,521 not decades, and he turned himself blue, 908 00:36:44,521 --> 00:36:47,391 which is a long-term side effect of overuse. 909 00:36:47,391 --> 00:36:49,459 You have to stop using it. 910 00:36:49,459 --> 00:36:51,395 [Barry] I liked being blue. 911 00:36:51,395 --> 00:36:53,496 It became my identity. 912 00:36:54,531 --> 00:36:57,167 Gave me a place in this town. 913 00:36:57,167 --> 00:36:59,769 I wasn't the freak anymore. 914 00:36:59,769 --> 00:37:03,273 I was a... mascot. 915 00:37:03,273 --> 00:37:06,610 At least I made my pie! 916 00:37:06,610 --> 00:37:09,946 -If I'm out, so's he! -Oh, my God. 917 00:37:09,946 --> 00:37:11,848 [Elaine] It is moments like these that remind us 918 00:37:11,848 --> 00:37:15,452 why we are alive and why we bake pies. 919 00:37:15,452 --> 00:37:17,620 [Martin] And what about you, Louisa? Wh-what's in yours? 920 00:37:17,620 --> 00:37:19,155 Oh, uh, nothing. 921 00:37:19,155 --> 00:37:20,657 I mean, I mean, nothing that could hurt her. 922 00:37:20,657 --> 00:37:22,259 But didn't you say you had a new baking trick 923 00:37:22,259 --> 00:37:23,560 up your sleeve? What was it? 924 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,995 I-I soaked the blueberries in spinach water 925 00:37:24,995 --> 00:37:26,429 for 24 hours before baking. 926 00:37:26,429 --> 00:37:28,332 I read about it in an old French cookbook. 927 00:37:28,332 --> 00:37:29,700 It's supposed to keep the berries sweet, 928 00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:31,401 but I promised I grew the spinach myself 929 00:37:31,401 --> 00:37:33,136 and I didn't break any rules. I never break any rules. 930 00:37:33,136 --> 00:37:34,438 Well, fresh blueberries in cold water 931 00:37:34,438 --> 00:37:35,939 would absorb a massive amount of calcium 932 00:37:35,939 --> 00:37:37,574 and oxalate from fresh spinach, 933 00:37:37,574 --> 00:37:39,610 and her old blood thinners would have reacted negatively, 934 00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:42,212 but I switched her to a new medication, so that-- 935 00:37:42,212 --> 00:37:43,446 She didn't take the new medication 936 00:37:43,446 --> 00:37:45,148 because it was too expensive. 937 00:37:45,148 --> 00:37:47,150 She's still on the old blood thinner. 938 00:37:47,150 --> 00:37:48,418 I knew I should have called you. 939 00:37:48,418 --> 00:37:49,920 The ambulance is almost here. 940 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,554 -It's the spinach. -Oh, no. 941 00:37:51,554 --> 00:37:53,323 She needs a shot of heparin. She's gonna be okay. 942 00:37:53,323 --> 00:37:54,924 Let's just sit her up. 943 00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:56,827 I'm glad she's gonna be okay, but I can't. 944 00:37:56,827 --> 00:37:58,828 -Over here. Over here. -This way, this way... 945 00:37:58,828 --> 00:38:02,632 I just can't believe that I won the... 946 00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:06,402 -I actually won. -[applause] 947 00:38:06,402 --> 00:38:09,473 Well, I guess you'll be making my favorites all month. 948 00:38:09,473 --> 00:38:12,142 Fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and that-- 949 00:38:12,142 --> 00:38:13,444 -Stop talking. -What? 950 00:38:13,444 --> 00:38:14,844 Gregory Denise Garrison, 951 00:38:14,844 --> 00:38:16,847 did you just tell Bert that we would, 952 00:38:16,847 --> 00:38:18,548 well, I would make his favorite meals 953 00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:19,983 if you won the pie contest? 954 00:38:19,983 --> 00:38:22,185 Oh, wait, wait. It's not over yet, folks. 955 00:38:22,185 --> 00:38:23,853 No, of course not. I would never. 956 00:38:23,853 --> 00:38:27,824 I mean, I may have mentioned as a joke 957 00:38:27,824 --> 00:38:30,594 that we would cater to his tastes for a bit, 958 00:38:30,594 --> 00:38:32,929 and if I were to place in the contest, 959 00:38:32,929 --> 00:38:35,598 I may have pointed out which pie was mine. 960 00:38:35,598 --> 00:38:39,536 I don't know. This contest makes me crazy. 961 00:38:39,536 --> 00:38:41,605 Well, Sarah is on her way to the hospital. 962 00:38:41,605 --> 00:38:43,440 Doc Martin says she's going to be fine, 963 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,275 but if I'm not mistaken, 964 00:38:45,275 --> 00:38:47,478 there is one last twist in the pie judging, 965 00:38:47,478 --> 00:38:49,312 and, yes, here it comes. 966 00:38:49,312 --> 00:38:52,015 Gregory Garrison, you are summarily disqualified 967 00:38:52,015 --> 00:38:55,052 from the competition for unscrupulous behavior. 968 00:38:55,052 --> 00:38:56,086 We will talk tonight. 969 00:38:56,086 --> 00:38:57,788 He is out, Greg is gone, 970 00:38:57,788 --> 00:39:00,791 and like a phoenix rising from the ashes. 971 00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:04,428 [George] Which means the official and final winner 972 00:39:04,428 --> 00:39:06,129 of this year's Annual Port Wenn 973 00:39:06,129 --> 00:39:07,698 Blueberry Pie Making Contest is... 974 00:39:07,698 --> 00:39:10,333 Can you believe what we are seeing here today? 975 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,868 Louisa Gavin. 976 00:39:13,169 --> 00:39:15,038 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 977 00:39:15,038 --> 00:39:18,542 -[all cheering] -Oh, my God! 978 00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:19,709 Yeah! 979 00:39:19,709 --> 00:39:21,578 Wait, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. 980 00:39:21,578 --> 00:39:23,580 We have to get Sarah to the hospital. 981 00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:26,650 No, no, you stay. She'll be fine. 982 00:39:26,650 --> 00:39:28,052 You did it. 983 00:39:28,052 --> 00:39:29,752 You deserve this, you won. 984 00:39:35,992 --> 00:39:38,896 Oh, I, uh... 985 00:39:38,896 --> 00:39:40,497 [chuckles] 986 00:39:41,865 --> 00:39:44,667 [cheering] 987 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:47,904 Oh! 988 00:39:52,476 --> 00:39:55,312 -Stop! -Stop! [laughs] 989 00:39:55,312 --> 00:39:58,615 -Ah! -[cheering] 990 00:39:58,615 --> 00:40:01,684 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! 991 00:40:02,919 --> 00:40:03,620 [all cheering] 992 00:40:06,290 --> 00:40:08,892 [instrumental music] 993 00:40:12,929 --> 00:40:14,631 Did I scare you? 994 00:40:18,002 --> 00:40:19,469 Yes. 995 00:40:22,406 --> 00:40:24,307 I don't like the idea 996 00:40:24,307 --> 00:40:26,676 of being in this stupid town without you. 997 00:40:28,545 --> 00:40:31,782 And if you couldn't afford the new medication, 998 00:40:31,782 --> 00:40:33,049 you should have told me. 999 00:40:33,049 --> 00:40:35,652 I'm sorry, Martin, I just... 1000 00:40:37,387 --> 00:40:39,722 I was so annoyed because... 1001 00:40:42,526 --> 00:40:45,762 I thought you were coming for lunch, 1002 00:40:45,762 --> 00:40:47,263 but you didn't. 1003 00:40:49,065 --> 00:40:51,601 And I just... 1004 00:40:51,601 --> 00:40:54,037 I'm just trying to make up for lost time. 1005 00:40:55,038 --> 00:40:56,273 I just wanna-- 1006 00:40:56,273 --> 00:40:57,907 You wanna spend more time with me? 1007 00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:00,510 [Sarah] Yeah. 1008 00:41:03,613 --> 00:41:05,849 Well... 1009 00:41:05,849 --> 00:41:09,552 I may have rejected the role of pie judge, 1010 00:41:09,552 --> 00:41:13,290 but I will accept the role of your nephew. 1011 00:41:13,290 --> 00:41:16,059 And you can be my weekly lunch date. 1012 00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:18,161 Guaranteed. 1013 00:41:18,161 --> 00:41:19,596 Twice a week. 1014 00:41:20,898 --> 00:41:22,565 Provided you follow lunch 1015 00:41:22,565 --> 00:41:25,268 with a brisk walk of at least 10,000 steps. 1016 00:41:25,268 --> 00:41:27,203 -Ten thousand steps? -Mm-hmm. 1017 00:41:27,203 --> 00:41:30,441 -And no more fried cod. -[knocking on door] 1018 00:41:30,441 --> 00:41:33,177 Hello. Would anyone care for tonight's dessert? 1019 00:41:33,177 --> 00:41:34,945 Ice cream. 1020 00:41:34,945 --> 00:41:37,480 [instrumental music] 1021 00:41:40,350 --> 00:41:42,051 -Nope. -[door shuts] 1022 00:41:44,121 --> 00:41:45,655 Oh. 1023 00:41:52,195 --> 00:41:54,531 [theme music]